If you are anything like me you don't normally struggle with depression or melancholy. In my opinion there is not a whole lot that chocolate, a good run and prayer won't solve. However, this past month, I felt this completely life sucking, I don't even enjoy what is normally fun for me black hole of galactic size.  It lasted for weeks. Felt like years. Ever have that happen to you?

Now, you may have different reasons on why it hit you but there is one thing that remains the same. Despite the way you feel, successful people take action in the midst of darkness. Why? Because that is the time where the greatest advancement can take place spiritually, emotionally, financially, relationally. When we are weak, God is strong!

This is the time where you have to choose sabotage or success and do it God's way. You will not know when it comes whether it is warfare related to your call or Christ calling you into a greater degree of death to your flesh. However, the antidote for the darkness is the same. Stay connected, push ahead boldly and worship as you go. I downloaded new worship songs and cried for weeks.  In the midst of the worship I suddenly became aware I was sabotaging myself mentally. I wrote down what I was thinking because you will always FEEL what you think. I was shocked and immediately ask God to forgive my doubt and unbelief. I immediately got breakthrough and understood how to get the outcome I was looking for.
 
This is how to have the same result and disperse your darkness if you are feeling the way I did.

You begin focusing in faith on what specifically you want to see produced and you take actions toward it. You stop procrastinating and quit delaying! The way you make the enemy happy and sabotage yourself is by hiding, isolating and being a victim. You build intergenerational success by worshiping, staying connected, and being disciplined with your thoughts and actions!

Your homework! If you feel sad, write down what your thinking. Search for area's of hidden angry that could be causing you to feel victimized. Repent, align your thinking and take actions that are consistent with your vision.

If you need help discovering where you are sabotaging yourself and aligning yourself internally and externally for success, get a complimentary coaching session. You will be amazed at what energy and clarity you can get from one session!

        

   One thing crucial to freedom and increase,  is simply being willing to let go of a comfortable but non working identity. God knew this when he transitioned Abram to Abraham. The stepping stone to enlargement, whether it be financial, spiritual, relational  or physical  is always found right in the area that you absolutely lament your weakness in.  The breakthrough does not reside in your ability to copy anyone else’s success, rather it comes from being ruthlessly obedient to the vision God has given YOU personally.

    Jane is a Christian professional in the educational arena and very competent at her job. She experienced sexual abuse when she was young and came to me for coaching because she had finished counseling but wanted to see some significant shifts in her life. She felt like her area of self sabotage was medicating with alcohol. She had been drinking quite a bit for decades and had been told over and over she was an addict. (By herself and well meaning friends). She was exhausted from the condemnation and conflicted by the cycling. During our complimentary coaching session I was looking for one thing in order to tell me if she had the clarity to be successful.

        Was she willing to let go of that identity and build a new one tailored made by the Holy Spirit.

The Lord always has a plan for us when we are ready to take action. It is a plan that is empowered by a clear conscience and enables you to model to others biblical self control. By the time the complimentary session was done, Jane communicated to me clearly the vision she believed God had given her for victory. (Though she had not seen it before). It did not involve total abstinence. (If it had, we would have moved in that direction). When she realized all her previous attempts at sobriety had started with total abstinence, and how many times she failed and cycled, she began to weep. We prayed and the Lord, as always, poured out his heart of mercy, compassion,  and empowerment on yet another soul. With that said, we spent the rest of the sessions implementing a new identity, tweaking what worked and what didn’t (she didn’t get victory in one weekJand watching God uncover layers of hidden vision and leadership within this woman. Doors supernaturally opened for her to get the leadership training, resources and relationships to launch her supersonic  speed into success. Within one month, relationships that had been unsupportive of her new identity began to detach from her. (Funny how that happens)and new ones developed. She was more alive, more free and more confident than she believed possible. She pursued God more passionately and had the kiss of his presence and power on her life. As confirmed internally and externally.

I am happy to say this has been the case in my own life and is typical of the results I see in my clients. When we are ready to let go of the fear of man(and religion), and come into alignment with God’s purposes and plans for our lives, we can move to victory in weeks and stay their long term.  We can have the suddenly moment we have been praying for years and believing is possible.  Remember you are not waiting on God. He is waiting on you!

 

        

    I have heard a couple very seasoned pastors and people of prayer call the past ten years, the decade that smelled like smoke. And we aren't talking incense and spice poofs. The economy almost sliding into the worst recession since the great depression, people losing their life savings, the bailout  and who could forget 9/11. In a nutshell, it was an excruciating decade for most people. We need to be able to transition out of this victimization the last decade has produced and build for the next ten. In January it is customary for people to consider what they want to improve on and the top 3 are usually in this order:

1. Getting in shape physically.
2. Creating a sustainable budget for financial success.
3. Investing in quality relationships. 

    Why is this more important for 2010? Because this year will set the foundation for you for the next decade. It is important that you get into right alignment. I believe if the past decade smelled like a pit barbecue, this upcoming one is going to smell like Godiva. Not just chocolate but chhhhooooccccclaaateeee. I don't know about you but I want to be ready to launch and lunch. To help make a smoother transition I thought I would offer a couple thoughts on the most significant area's I watched clients get misaligned with in the past decade in hopes that you can ponder these as you create your New Years strategies and plans.

1. Throwing the baby out with the bath water. (A scary thought for parents all together). Men and women who don't have an ability to set healthy boundaries relationally have a tendency to completely isolate themselves away from the very thing that will give them life. As if, they just cut off the offending party, they will be safe and happy in their own little world. Not perceiving that relationships can be just  like weeds and another one just like it will find you and pop up right after you spray round up all over your life. Drats, more cycling. Now here is the challenge and this will help you with 2010. 
                                                                                     
                                                         You alone teach people how to treat you.

If someone has continually violated your boundaries it is only because you have not communicated your needs the first time. It is Christian to tell people they are accidentally standing on your toe. It is not Christian to deck them with your purse and then run away and hide in bitterness. This is a male and female sabotage.

2. Allowing fear to stop you from pursuing your passion. Show me an obstacle and I will show you your desire. Now I will give credit to Dave Krueger, one of my coaches for this snappy saying. Now, here is how I see this with my clients. People consistently underestimate the place and influence God wants to take them to in regards to their sabotage. Jesus is all into the drama. Forget what you heard about the lambs and gentle streams. He is into famine then feasting. Victim to victor. Dead to resurrection. I mean, what is your stinking 50 pounds? He doesn't just want to deliver you from idolatry, he wants you doing Jenny Craig commercials AND getting paid for it. Get it? If you are struggling with relationships, that is because YOU are going to have a HOT GODLY SPOUSE and you just are going to have to pray and do the practical just like anything else. Your sabotage is not unique, it is just more painful because it is yours It is worth the work to find out why your sabotaging yourself so you can have the success you deserve!

3. Making excuses as to why you cannot breakthrough financially. Excuses are a form of victimization mentality's. I can't focus on my business because my kids are distracting me. I can't build any savings because my spouse keeps sabotaging us. Until you are ready to take 100% ownership and become the leader that you want someone else to be, you will never be successful. It is that simple. If you want to be successful, you will be. The answer lies in what you believe. You will always find the confirmation you need to choose the direction you want to go in. Why? Because failure is more familiar and safe  than success and the unknown. This is especially true for Christians because we can blame our waiting on God. Nothing like blame shifting on a divine level for the ultimate sabotage. Sounds relatively familiar eh? He told me to eat the apple, No she did, No changed my mind, it was the reptile...hmmm.

For more success and less sabotage, try coaching! We have the experience and tools in place to help you build longterm success that will impact and influence your family for generations to come! Contact our team at info@successnotsabotage.com for your complimentary first appt. and start your decade out with power and purpose!

        

 

  Jay and I attended a 2 day Mark Gungor marriage seminar and I snort laughed the entire time. If anyone knows me, my attention span is that of a toddler. If your going to hook me, it better be in 2 minutes flat. So for Becky Harmon to sit and listen for 3 hrs straight, the material had to way entertain me. I got so excited at how practical yet funny he was that I bought everything he sold and I reviewed it immediately for my clients.  Mark discussed some of the same martial sex sabotages that I have heard my clients share and so I couldn't wait to write on it for you so yes, you could have FUN and passionate sex in 2010. ASSUMING YOU ARE MARRIED. For Petes sake, don't write me stupid emails.
  Okay, so the top three sabotages to staying married are money, sex and communication. This should get your attention if you want to build intergenerational success. The greatest gift you can give your children is a healthy marriage. Healthy marriages have fulfilling sex. For both partners!

    So here are some bullet points for moving from sabotage to sex success in 2010!

1. God cares about you having awesome sex! Don't buy into the lie (right from the pit of hell smells like smoke) that God can't show up for you and resolve your sex challenges. Of course no one wants to give their client testimonial on this topic, but I can tell you this is a common complaint for women. Hurts, past abuses worked their way into their sex lives and they feel hopeless and shamed. God showed up through simple boundaries and strategies and now they have passionate sex.
2. One spouse will always want more sex then the other. This is actually normal. It could be the husband or the wife. Do not allow fatigue, kids, work or ministry to steal time in investing in your marriage. It is wrong spiritually to cause your spouse to be frustrated sexually and can open the door for them to stumble. If they communicate to you that they genuinely need sex, meet them now without delay or schedule it into the next 24 hrs.
3. For the women, do not use sex to punish your husband because you are mad at him for being controlling, short with you or angry with the kids. Learn to eliminate passive agression and build unity in your marriage even if your husband is not spiritual.
4. For the men, learn how to be a lover. If you are not getting enough sex, you are most likely not focusing on the little things that make her feel special. LIKE PICKING UP YOUR SOCKS and making the bed, and flowers and hiring a babysitter for a dinner out. You do this 3/4 times a week and you might just get wore out.
5. Lastly, don't settle for a unfulfilling sex life. Watch out for victimization mentalities like these:
My spouse does not think I am still attractive or they would approach me instead of me having to do all the initiating. (Rejection)
b. I can't enjoy sex because I had traumatic experiences.
c. If I had more help, I would have more energy for sex.
d. I feel fat and unattractive and he always wants the lights on.

Do whatever necessary to discover what is creating sabotage for you in this area and invest in the coaching necessary to make this area one of your strongest martially. Great sex  releases endorphins that make you feel positive and happy, is good for your heart, burns calories(does it get better than this?) and finally put’s a smile on yours and your spouses face without spending a dime!

Don’t let weight, resentment or frustration steal your passion! If you need help discovering how to build success in your marriage, contact my team and ask about receiving a complimentary a complimentary coaching session.

        

Ever been a position where you take the time to articulate and communicate the pain you are in emotionally to a friend, spouse, coach so that you can get some help and find that they are relaying the same information to you that you have tried before and didn't work?

Well, I can relate. I hired a coach this week to kick my butt and not listen to my lame excuses on why I am not being successful in a particular area.  You know what I found? I started getting frustrated during the coaching because I had already ...<< MORE >>

   I hear this at least once a week. Fill in the blank. ___________has so much potential if they would just stop sabotaging themselves in this one area! It could be a mother talking about her kids, or a husband talking about his wife, or a leader talking about someone they are mentoring. Watching someone sabotage is painful and can drain you emotionally. Call me for the t-shirt, I have them in 2 different sizes. My binge on chocolate size and my starve myself with fasting smaller size. But seriously.

   Here is often times the one key that clients neglect repeatedly and that can make the difference between delay and breakthrough. 

 Stop ...<< MORE >>